Thinking & Assessing BEFORE Communicating

  

     Busy business people know there’s a fine line between getting things done and slowing down enough to meticulously get things right. If an important project is due, we pace ourselves so we have enough time to complete it and review it before we share it with the powers that be!

But when it comes to speaking & communicating why is it that we spend little or no time to prepare?  Granted, our time is precious and extra time is rare but the investment of time we spend on sharpening our communication skills can mean the difference between moving forth polished and ready to make a difference or being viewed as someone who is ill-prepared and easily forgotten.

The goal in business is to make an impact, build trust, solidify relationships and grow our businesses!  There are many techniques you can use to learn to speak, listen, converse and deliver so “all of the above” can be accomplished but none is more important than taking the time to understand your audience.

     Most of the world thinks that communication is all about output.  But you have to remember, that communication is a “two-way street”.  You send.  Then, you receive.  You send.  And then receive. 

Speaking One on One

     Have you ever sat next to someone who doesn’t bother to take the time to learn about you?  These folks are all about “output”.  When we take time to stop, listen and ask a few questions, our relationships are must more apt to flourish.  Plus, when we’re able to speak in those situations, if we’ve already given respect to our “audience”, they’re much more apt to return the favor.  And then we become speakers who are better able to influence because we’ve “opened the lines of communication”.

     Now, turn the tables.  Spend just a little time to evaluate someone prior to starting a conversation, and right away, your “audience” will know that you care.  They will also be much more apt to want to continue the conversation or even collaborate with you (or buy your products & services) when you take interest in them.  Now, mix in a combination of speaking and asking questions during the conversation, and you’ve begun to develop a relationship built on mutual respect AND that two-way communication.  This kind of “foundation” works wonders with your employees, counterparts, even superiors because, like all good communication, when we speak we need to remember that effective conversation and/or presentations are always more impactful when they’re focused: less on you and more on your audience.

Speaking Before a Crowd

     When preparing for a presentation or keynote, speakers often spend time on content but fail to take time to fully assess their audiences.   Even if you’ve yet to meet the group you’re ready to speak to, ask the meeting planner who will be in the room?  What type of people are they?  Why?  Because clearly, you’ll address a roomful of doctors differently than a roomful of say…gourmet chefs!

Once you know who will be on hand, ask yourself what your audience needs (at this time of day/week/year) so you’re able to first, relate with them, then, hopefully, inspire them.

     Some of what you’re learning here are the secrets to “unspoken” communication.  These are skills to acquire first…before you choose which words to use or angle to take on your specific subject.

And they are skills that will get you noticed.  We often ask why we were not as impactful as we could have been after speaking and, more times than not, it’s because when people speak, they’re thinking too much about themselves and not enough about their audience.   This is critical while delivering an important, career building presentation.

     So, take the time to understand your audience WELL before you begin to communicate.  It will help you form alliances that are quietly appreciated and often sorely lacking in business.  This will also help you avoid the thought that makes people stumble more than anything else while they’re speaking…which is this:  “what are they thinking”!

     Remember, you’ve taken the time to answer that question days or even weeks before your job of communicating began so you’re well ahead of the game!

Donna Mac,

DMacVoice & Media, Communications Coach & Media Producer; Speaker

http://dmacvoice.com/contact_donna.php

The Perils of Being Starstruck--Your POWER to Communicate

On a beautiful August afternoon, she was waiting for a valet driver to bring her car back.  Then, her eyes met his. She recognized him almost immediately. Her heart skipped a beat.  She had been watching this man host TV shows on and off for years!

Once that realization enveloped her, she did what most humans do and that was to immediately turn away. "OMG...it's HIM!  And he's only 15 feet away!"  Then another realization came her way. The moment her eyes diverted from his, he actually said, "HELLO"!

So, she caught her breath, and decided to return the greeting. As she straightened her posture and turned to say "hi", she realized that her window of opportunity to engage this gentleman was gone. Now, he had turned away.

And her car arrived.

In a way, she was relieved.  So, she whisked past his 6'4" frame, hopped into her car and drove home.

5 seconds into the ride, regret had set in!  She lost her opportunity to share greetings...and a moment in time...with Conan O'Brien!

If she knew then what she knows now, here is what she would have done differently.

Before she got into her car she would have tapped him on the shoulder and said, "you look familiar, did we go to high school together"?  Then she would have smiled, shaken his hand, welcomed him to the Rhode Island shoreline, and told him to enjoy his time at the ocean.

Plus, her story would have been so much richer! Perhaps she could have even asked him if he wanted to take a selfie with her!  LOL...  HIS camera, of course!

This was a moment that the BOTH could have enjoyed and benefitted from.  "Stars" must encounter the "starstruck" all the time but how often do they encounter great communicators...people who can see past the wealth and fame and their own nervousness to understand the value of human connection; the value of someone being vulnerable enough to breakthrough so they could have a breakthrough moment!  It was easy for her to blame her inaction on her "made up story" that Conan wanted his privacy.  Thinking back, I bet he would have appreciated her effort. It would have been authentic and refreshing and fun!

So the next time YOU'RE starstruck (by the rich, famous or THE BOSS or A PROSPECT!), remember that they're just people.  If you'd like make more memories, build stronger relationships (that can often lead to sales!) and have fewer regrets...just an idea...you might want to consider becoming BOLDER in your communication!

Remember, the most effective communicators place themselves on a “level playing field” with their audiences.  They don’t talk “down” to them nor do they place them on a pedestal. They understand that:  

1.     They are subject matter experts.

2.     Their most important job is to “create conditions” where communication can flow.

3.     They know that every audience is different; some are more open than others.

4.     And they understand that there’s a great benefit to being both well prepared and occasionally vulnerable.

Being confident in your communications is the key!  As we know, becoming confident at anything takes attention, time and practice.  So if you’re preparing for an important presentation, give it time.  I also suggest you prepare for the unexpected—have a few phrases “in your back pocket’ so the next time you encounter “a star”, you’ll remember, they’re just people.  People who will appreciate your effort and remember you fondly for your stellar communication skills!