On a
beautiful August afternoon, she was waiting for a valet driver to bring her car
back. Then, her eyes met his. She recognized him almost immediately. Her
heart skipped a beat. She had been watching this man host TV shows on and
off for years!
Once that
realization enveloped her, she did what most humans do and that was to
immediately turn away. "OMG...it's HIM! And he's only 15 feet
away!" Then another realization came her way. The moment her eyes
diverted from his, he actually said, "HELLO"!
So, she
caught her breath, and decided to return the greeting. As she straightened her
posture and turned to say "hi", she realized that her window of
opportunity to engage this gentleman was gone. Now, he had turned away.
And her
car arrived.
In a way,
she was relieved. So, she whisked past his 6'4" frame, hopped into
her car and drove home.
5 seconds
into the ride, regret had set in! She lost her opportunity to share
greetings...and a moment in time...with Conan O'Brien!
If she
knew then what she knows now, here is what she would have done differently.
Before
she got into her car she would have tapped him on the shoulder and said,
"you look familiar, did we go to high school together"? Then
she would have smiled, shaken his hand, welcomed him to the Rhode Island
shoreline, and told him to enjoy his time at the ocean.
Plus, her
story would have been so much richer! Perhaps she could have even asked him if
he wanted to take a selfie with her! LOL... HIS camera, of course!
This was
a moment that the BOTH could have enjoyed and benefitted from. "Stars"
must encounter the "starstruck" all the time but how often do they
encounter great communicators...people who can see past the wealth and fame and
their own nervousness to understand the value of human connection; the value of
someone being vulnerable enough to breakthrough so they could have a
breakthrough moment! It was easy for her to blame her inaction on her
"made up story" that Conan wanted his privacy. Thinking back, I
bet he would have appreciated her effort. It would have been authentic and
refreshing and fun!
So the
next time YOU'RE starstruck (by the rich, famous or THE BOSS or A PROSPECT!),
remember that they're just people. If you'd like make more memories,
build stronger relationships (that can often lead to sales!) and have fewer
regrets...just an idea...you might want to consider becoming BOLDER in your
communication!
Remember,
the most effective communicators place themselves on a “level playing field”
with their audiences. They don’t talk
“down” to them nor do they place them on a pedestal. They understand that:
1.
They are subject matter experts.
2.
Their most important job is to “create
conditions” where communication can flow.
3.
They know that every audience is different; some
are more open than others.
4.
And they understand that there’s a great benefit
to being both well prepared and occasionally vulnerable.
Being confident in your communications is the key! As we know, becoming confident at
anything takes attention, time and practice. So if you’re preparing for an important presentation, give
it time. I also suggest you
prepare for the unexpected—have a few phrases “in your back pocket’ so the next
time you encounter “a star”, you’ll remember, they’re just people. People who will appreciate your effort
and remember you fondly for your stellar communication skills!
