Friday, August 22, 2014

The Perils of Being Starstruck--Your POWER to Communicate

On a beautiful August afternoon, she was waiting for a valet driver to bring her car back.  Then, her eyes met his. She recognized him almost immediately. Her heart skipped a beat.  She had been watching this man host TV shows on and off for years!

Once that realization enveloped her, she did what most humans do and that was to immediately turn away. "OMG...it's HIM!  And he's only 15 feet away!"  Then another realization came her way. The moment her eyes diverted from his, he actually said, "HELLO"!

So, she caught her breath, and decided to return the greeting. As she straightened her posture and turned to say "hi", she realized that her window of opportunity to engage this gentleman was gone. Now, he had turned away.

And her car arrived.

In a way, she was relieved.  So, she whisked past his 6'4" frame, hopped into her car and drove home.

5 seconds into the ride, regret had set in!  She lost her opportunity to share greetings...and a moment in time...with Conan O'Brien!

If she knew then what she knows now, here is what she would have done differently.

Before she got into her car she would have tapped him on the shoulder and said, "you look familiar, did we go to high school together"?  Then she would have smiled, shaken his hand, welcomed him to the Rhode Island shoreline, and told him to enjoy his time at the ocean.

Plus, her story would have been so much richer! Perhaps she could have even asked him if he wanted to take a selfie with her!  LOL...  HIS camera, of course!

This was a moment that the BOTH could have enjoyed and benefitted from.  "Stars" must encounter the "starstruck" all the time but how often do they encounter great communicators...people who can see past the wealth and fame and their own nervousness to understand the value of human connection; the value of someone being vulnerable enough to breakthrough so they could have a breakthrough moment!  It was easy for her to blame her inaction on her "made up story" that Conan wanted his privacy.  Thinking back, I bet he would have appreciated her effort. It would have been authentic and refreshing and fun!

So the next time YOU'RE starstruck (by the rich, famous or THE BOSS or A PROSPECT!), remember that they're just people.  If you'd like make more memories, build stronger relationships (that can often lead to sales!) and have fewer regrets...just an idea...you might want to consider becoming BOLDER in your communication!

Remember, the most effective communicators place themselves on a “level playing field” with their audiences.  They don’t talk “down” to them nor do they place them on a pedestal. They understand that:  

1.     They are subject matter experts.
2.     Their most important job is to “create conditions” where communication can flow.
3.     They know that every audience is different; some are more open than others.
4.     And they understand that there’s a great benefit to being both well prepared and occasionally vulnerable.

Being confident in your communications is the key!  As we know, becoming confident at anything takes attention, time and practice.  So if you’re preparing for an important presentation, give it time.  I also suggest you prepare for the unexpected—have a few phrases “in your back pocket’ so the next time you encounter “a star”, you’ll remember, they’re just people.  People who will appreciate your effort and remember you fondly for your stellar communication skills!